Ep. 73 - Finding Freedom Through Connection
“If you feel like you’re alone with a gambling problem, talk to someone. The more this problem is out in the open, the less it can take hold.”
Bryce started playing poker with friends as a teen and then added in online play. As gambling carried on, debt, secrecy and stess increased. In this episode of Fold em, Bryce tells us that his wife eventually asked him to leave because of his gambling. Even after his Mom paid off his debts, his head was still in the game and he re-loaned and went back to playing poker. Bryce started attending counselling and groups, but was keeping the gambling secret and feeling horrible about it.
When his wife found out that the gambling had continued, his world came crashing down. However, Bryce was willing to get help and entered a residential treatment program. He was the only one there dealing with gambling (the others were struggling with alcohol and drugs), but he quickly connected with the “guys” in this program. Not having access to his phone or unable to go online for four months, also meant that he had a lot more time to take a “deep introspection” into his life. Connecting with others and himself has been his pathway to finding freedom. Today he is more than three years away from his last bet.
Listen to episode 73 and hear about:
What has helped Bryce to stay away from gambling for more than three years
How he has been reconnecting with his wife and family and rebuilding trust
Tips for letting go of guilt and regret due to gambling
LISTEN to EPISODE 73
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I Already Feel Badly About My Gambling. Why Should I Open Up About It?
Bryce knows all about how hard it is to open up about gambling problems. He says there is a lot of stigma with gambling addiction. For the longest time, he felt like “less of a person” because of his gambling and didn’t want to talk about it. Even when attending counselling and support groups, he says he “controlled the narrative” and didn’t let on that he was still gambling.
Bryce also tells us that family and friends can have the best of intensions to be supportive, but because of the secrets that come with this problem, they’ve been hurt. It can be tough to talk openly about gambling when there are alot of emotions involved on both sides. Family may not fully understand gambling issues, so assumptions and judgements can’t help but come out.
Despite this, Bryce has learned that opening up about gambling issues and continuing to talk about them is key, particularly with people who know about addiction. This has helped him not only to stay away from gambling for more than three years, but also to feel more at peace with himself. Bryce really connected with the comradery at a residential treatment centre. The group that went through treatment with him continue to stay in touch, often daily, checking in and offering support to each other. Bryce also returns for weekly alumni meetings and speaks about gambling addiction to new groups at the centre.
Bryce has also worked on opening up to his spouse and family about gambling and his recovery. He reminds himself of how the gambling impacted them and that it’s understandable they will be guarded and slow to trust. He also reminds himself that they haven’t spent as much time as he has learning about addiction. However, attending counselling and programs with his wife has helped, as has practicing talking through tough issues. A bonus of doing this work is that he feels closer to them. Bryce says that he strives to stay on track with his recovery so that he can show up as the best version of himself -for his wife and family, but also at work.
Finding Freedom Through Connection
Bryce tells us that when he was gambling he was “checked out.” His wife and son wanted to spend time with him on the weekend, but he just wanted to isolate. At work, he wasn’t very focused. It felt like he didn’t have anyone to talk to who would get it.
However, he’s learned that “the more gambling problems are in the light, the less they can take hold.” Taking those steps to open up, connect and stay connected have kept him away from gambling. Connecting with people has also helped him to “become the person I want to be.” As he brings more focus to work and is more engaged with his wife and son, he knows he’s having a positive impact. This helps him to feel better about himself. It has also made it easier to let go of the regret and remorse he feels for all the ways gambling hurt the people around him.
Bryce reminds us that a lot of people are dealing with gambling getting out of control - more than you might think. He says that even if you think you don’t have someone to talk to, find someone - through an online chat forum or meeting, call a Gambling Support Line, or talking to a friend or acquaintance that are supportive. Things can only get better if you ask … and do something differently.
To hear more from Bryce and how he pulled back from a twenty-three year gambling problem and stayed away, listen to episode 73 of Fold em. Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red Listen Now to Fold em button at the bottom.
Related Fold em Episodes
You can also hear a conversation with Bryce when he was eleven months gambling free. He talks about how his mind stayed hooked in to gambling, even after promising people he would stop. Bryce shares how he shifted away from an addiction mindset to a recovery mindset. Listen now to episode nineteen of Fold em by clicking on the play button below.
What Support is Available to Help With Gambling Concerns?
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website or listen to other episodes of Fold em.
Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
We welcome your feedback and ideas for topics for upcoming episodes. Reach out through the Contact Us page on this website or through email at Foldempodcast@gmail.com.
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