Ep. 24 - How Do I Let Go of Regret, Anger & Guilt From Gambling?
When gambling has gotten out of hand, it can leave you feeling heavy with regret, anger, guilt and shame. Both gamblers and their family members feel this way. It’s common to wonder if you’ll ever shake these feelings and feel better.
In episode 24 of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, hear my conversation with two former gamblers about what helped them to reach a place where they can look at themselves in the mirror again. Learn steps you can take to start moving in that direction.
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Even after I stopped gambling, I still felt so badly about myself. It was hard to look in the mirror.
After Gambling Gets Out of Hand, It’s Hard to Shake Feelings of Guilt, Anger, Regret and Shame
In this episode of Fold em, we hear from Jim. He tells us that online sports betting caused not only financial problems for him, but triggered his life to spiral downwards as gambling took more of his focus and pulled him away from people and activities that were important.
Ian also joins the conversation. For him, Keno, got out of hand. When that happened stress and problems increased. Ian, like Jim, says he tried to put on a front that everything was okay, but inside he felt horrible. Trying to manage all the secrets and lies left him feeling guilty and embarrassed.
Gambling problems also have a negative impact on the people around the gambler - spouses, family and friends. Often there is conflict and disconnection in the home. And, it’s a hard topic to talk about with friends. Spouses and family also end up pretending everything is ok when inside they are feeling stressed, anxious and resentful.
How Do I Start to Feel Better About Myself?
Ian and Jim talk about their experiences with regaining control of their lives as they pulled away from gambling. They note that it wasn’t a straight upward line of improvement. Gambling relapses would happen and there would be days when they felt stuck. However, things did gradually change and get better.
In their interview on Fold em, Ian and Jim share lots of ideas about how to get some forward movement going. I wrote down about fifteen points! Here are five that really stood out for me:
tell someone the truth about what is going on - pick someone who will be understanding and helpful. Usually it’s a relief to get it out in the open. This makes it easier to then starting dealing step-by-step with problems.
if gambling has messed up your sleeping, eating and health routines, find ways to start getting these back on track. Taking care of these basics will help you to start feel better.
notice what really sets off a downward spiral of negative thoughts and feelings about yourself and interrupt this before it gets to far, e.g. if looking at bills is hard, choose a time to do this when you feel most grounded and have a plan to do something that boosts your mood after.
learn about gambling problems and addiction - from a podcast, Gamtalk, GA, or a counsellor. When you see there are many people with this problem, it’s not a weakness on your part, and that there are strategies to regain control of gambling, your confidence will grow.
rediscover who you are as a person - what is important to you, what makes you feel well or happy. Slowly give more time and energy bringing these things back into your life.
To hear more ideas from Jim and Ian about building yourself back up again after gambling got out of hand, tune in to episode 24 of Fold em.
Listen now by clicking on the green play buttons at the top of this blog. Or, tune in directly from Apple or Google podcasts by clicking on the red button below.
Check out the other episodes and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out when new ones are released.
If you live in British Columbia and would like to find about free, confidential support and counselling services from Gambling Support BC, click on the red “Connect with Support in BC” button below. Or, go to the Gambling Support BC website. The Gambling Support Line is available 24/7 at 1-888-795-6111.
Gambling Support BC services are available to residents of British Columbia who are concerned about their own or a loved one’s gambling.
Fold em is a podcast hosted by Adrienne Cossom and her colleagues at Gambling Support BC. Whether you are looking at stopping or scaling back your own gambling or supporting a family member with a problem, this podcast will help you take back control. Hear from gamblers who have been through it and get tips from counsellors. Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website, click on the red “Learn More” button below, or connect with us through Facebook.