Ep. 2 - Help with Gambling Debt: Negotiating Support from Family & Friends
Are you or someone you know facing financial problems because of gambling? Listen now to this episode of Fold em to hear about a couple who worked together to get their finances back on track and stop further relapses. A counsellor specializing in gambling issues offers guidance.
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Financial help for gamblers can be right in front of you
It’s not easy, but talking to supportive family & friends is often a needed first step to get out of the hole with gambling debt
Gambling problems typically lead to hiding debt and financial problems from family and friends. It can feel embarrassing to open up about this. However, gambling problems thrive in secrecy. Keeping this stress to yourself will likely lead to more gambling and gambling loss.
Gambling debt can be difficult to talk about, but there can be many benefits of opening up to someone you trust
There are, in fact, many ways out of gambling debt and financial problems. And, there are many benefits to asking someone you trust for help. In this episode of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, David tells his story about opening up to his girlfriend (now wife) about the gambling problem and gradually working with her to manage money and pay down debt.
Shannon Simms, a counsellor in British Columbia who specializes in gambling problems, joins us in this episode and talks about the benefits of talking to supportive family and friends about gambling debt:
being financially accountable to someone else can help to get space between you and your next bet
you will likely feel relief at no longer keeping gambling and financial problems a secret
that person can help you face the financial problems and find solutions, e.g. call the credit card company or meet with an insolvency trustee
you likely will pay off the debt faster and build up savings if someone is working with you (and celebrating with you when you reach a goal!)
Conversations about gambling and money can be really difficult, especially if it is with a spouse or family member. It can take time to open up and be comfortable with another person having access to your accounts or holding on to your money.
When there are relapses, these conversations can be especially difficult and you may find it helpful to bring in a counsellor or a family member to help. Relapses, however, provide an opportunity to reflect on the gambling problem and what to do differently going forward. These conversations go best when the gambler has a say in how other people will be involved in managing finances.
Spouses and family members can help with addressing gambling debt and preventing relapse
There are a number of ways that spouses and family members can help with addressing gambling debt and preventing relapse. Here’s some options suggested by Shannon and her guest:
research debt management options such as debt consolidation, credit counselling, consumer proposals and bankruptcy and go together to meetings about these options
work together to write up a debt repayment plan and check-in regularly about progress on this
hold on to income and/or extra money and make bill payments to ensure that money is going where it needs to go
hold on to credit or debit cards and provide cash or gift cards to cover what is needed for spending money
share access to accounts (bank, credit card) so that someone else can monitor the financial situation and check-in about unusual spending
set a goal together, e.g. to pay off a credit card or to save for a dinner out and celebrate with that person when the goal is reached
It’s not an easy step to ask for help, but usually a needed one to address a gambling problem. And, it will likely get you headed in a better direction than the one gambling has taken you in. To hear David and Shannon share more ideas about how to involve family in addressing gambling problems, listen to episode two of Fold em. Click on the player at the top of this blog. If you prefer to listen directly from Apple or Google podcasts, click on the red “Listen Now” button and play episode two.
Fold em is a podcast hosted by Adrienne Cossom and her colleagues at Gambling Support BC. Whether you are looking at stopping or scaling back your own gambling or supporting a family member with a problem, this podcast will help you take back control. Hear from gamblers who have been through it and get tips from counsellors.
If you would like to connect with Shannon Simms, counsellor with Gambling Support BC, click on the red “Contact Shannon” button below or visit www.bcresponsiblegambling.ca
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website OR click on the red “Learn More” button below.