Ep. 11 - Gambling Support for Families: From Coping to Moving Forward

Finding out about a loved one's gambling problem can turn your life upside down. In this episode we help get your feet back on the ground. Hear a spouse talk about what worked for her and what didn't. Learn ways to talk to the gambler and encourage action in dealing with the problem.

Is someone you care about struggling with gambling? Click on the green play button now to hear from a spouse who has been through it and a counsellor specializing in gambling problems. This episode of our podcast Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems is for those of you impacted by gambling - family, spouses, and friends.

If you would like to check out the rest of our episodes, click on the red button below. Be sure to subscribe to Fold em, so you never miss out on new shows.

Spouses and family members often feel blindsided by gambling problems

Read on and listen for ideas about how to not only cope but to move forward

In this episode of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, we address questions commonly heard from family members and spouses when they first reach out for help:

What do I do now? How can I make the gambling stop? How can I deal with this when I am so exhausted and upset?

Jen Gregg, a counsellor in British Columbia specializing in gambling addiction, says, “it’s normal for family members to feel overwhelmed, confused, hurt and angry when a gambling problem comes into the open or returns because of a relapse. Despite this, family members are often expected to be the one who keep a rational head and deal with the fall out. It’s not easy for them.”

It’s understandable that family members feel a lot anger and fear and that this brings up conflict and a need to take control of the situation. However, Jen notes, if conflict and control continues it can fuel other problems for the relationship. True recovery from gambling problems involves not only finding ways to halt the gambling and address financial issues, but rebuilding trust, communication and collaboration in a relationship.

How do I Move Forward?

In this episode, Jen speaks to the spouse of a problem gambler. Together, they share ideas about how spouses and family members can start to move forward with this issue:

• Resist the impulse to step in and take control. There may be a need for you to step in to protect your financial interests. However, ideally the gambler is involved in taking responsibility for the impact of gambling and dealing with it.

• Clarify what YOU need to feel better. Even if the gambler is not ready to take action, it doesn’t mean that you need to sit back. Figure out what you need and speak up about this. For example, if honesty is important to you, then say that you want the truth, even if it’s hard to hear.

• Let go of the idea of a quick fix. Both for the gambler and the relationship, getting back on stable ground can be a long-term process. In the beginning, stopping the gambling and starting to communicate and re-connect can be enough to tackle. Preferably further changes will come with time, including, collaborating together on preventing relapse, rebuilding trust, and getting back to a healthier lifestyle. Pace yourself!

• Get support for yourself. Whether it is with a trusted friend, counsellor or a support group, talk about what you are going through and get some guidance. Gambling issues are tricky and it can be helpful to learn from others who have gone through it.

If you would like to hear Jen’s interview with the wife of a gambler and learn more about how families can move forward with gambling problems, click on the green play button at the top of this blog. If you prefer to listen from Apple or Google podcasts, click on the red “Listen Now” button below and go to episode eleven of Fold em.

Fold em is a podcast hosted by Adrienne Cossom and her colleagues at Gambling Support BC. Whether you are looking at stopping or scaling back your own gambling or supporting a family member with a problem, this podcast will help you take back control. Hear from gamblers who have been through it and get tips from counsellors. There is a way out from the hold gambling has on your life. Fold em can help get you there.

If you would like to connect with Adrienne, Jen or any of our team with Gambling Support BC, click on the red button below. Free, confidential services are available to residents of British Columbia who are concerned about their own or a loved one’s gambling.

To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website OR click on the red “Learn More” button below.